STARZ
by otakuspirit
Summary: AU.A little CF I wrote one day, including Nemesis and all of his glory. Disclaimer I do not own any Nemesis or STARS,


**Authors Note: **Yay!! My second fanfic updated!! First I must apologize if this fanfic sucks but I never played resident evil, actually I learned about Nemesis from an internet flash. Anyway I was given an assignment in school where we had to something like mad-libs and then write an essay about it, this is what I came up with…

* * *

It was a beautiful sunny morning, the clouds were clear, the air was fresh, and it was as if the sky was singing, when a swallow with a red cape came flying in though my window. I was as scared as one could get when a funny-looking bird rushes into ones house without previous notice. I absentmindedly rushed toward the bird, which was resting on my faucet, when I realized it was grasping something with its beak. Slowly, I moved closer and closer to it, trying to keep a comfortable distance, and take a better look at the piece of paper it was holding in its mouth. The bird was holding its wings up and opened its beak letting the piece of paper land gently in the dry sink. The bird flew away with its cape flowing with the wind.

"What an odd bird," I said to myself as I picked up the paper, which I noticed was an envelope. The envelope had _'The Mission just for you' _printed on it with aqua permanent marker. "A mission?" I had asked myself while opening the envelope. I took out the folded piece of paper that was inside it, unfolded it and began to read.

_Dear Abi,_

_We need someone of your age and superior intelligence to help us out on a dangerous mission to a far away place. If you succeed you will be famous at home and abroad. _

_Here are your instructions. Equip yourself as necessary and proceed directly to the center of the forbidden forest. Your lodgings at the Forbidden Forest Hotel have already been paid for. Use the name of Lyon._

_On the Forest Mountain, which overlooks the forest, lies the lair of S.T.A.R.S., which appear harmless, but are really dangerous. These people have Nemesis, who we want because Nemesis is awesome. _

_Upon your return, write us a complete report telling us about your mission. Leave out no details, as everything is of interest to us. If we find your information to be accurate, you will be richly rewarded. Good Luck._

_Sincerely,_

'_Princess' Consuela Banana hammock _

"This is the weirdest letter I have ever read in my entire life," I commented to myself. "I don't care about the money anyway, but I'll get to meet Nemesis!" I added cheerfully as I skipped down toward my room. _'Nemesis is my favorite video game villain!' _I thought. After thinking over the letter and thinking what I should do, I decided to go shopping. I needed some cool spy- rescue- person attire to wear on the mission.

So before I left for my mission I went shopping. I got a traditional ninja costume, a kimono, and black clothes. The Ninja costume I bought was black and had a red outlining, it came with gloves, boots and a face mask to hide my identity; it was light for faster movement. The kimono was pink and had designs of sakura flowers and petals on it; it was also light, it's hard to find a light kimono because they are relatively heavy. The black clothes where nothing special; just sweaters, turtle necks, shirts, pants and skirts, Goth boots, tank tops, you know what every girl has to have.

Then, I bought the necessary equipment. I bought a tranquilizer, tranquilizer darts, a bazooka, a handgun, a rifle, and many other hi-tech guns and equipment. All of these weapons may seem a lot but they really aren't. No one ever knows what they may need confronting S.T.A.R.S.

The last thing I needed to do before I set off was leave notes to my friends and family. I covered my apartment with sticky notes telling whoever visits to eat anything from the refrigerator as long as they washed anything they used, water the plants, feed my dog, tell them I was off to rescue the most dangerous villain in all video game history, and not to have any wild parties without cleaning up after, you know, the usual.

* * *

Then off I went on my mission. From the Forbidden Forest airport I traveled to the Forbidden Forest center and saw beautiful cities and lands, ironically enough. There are a lot of skinny people in there!

Then, I started right away on my mission. I got right to work and found out where they were keeping Nemesis. S.T.A.R.S. was keeping Nemesis in a lounge with a bar and a nice long couch. I watched him for hours on end and I tried to read what he was saying several times. All I could make out was "stars". Then after watching him and surveying the guards I was able to memorize their shifts and movements. Then I made a plan to rescue Nemesis. It was quite simple, a little too simple. I was sure the plan was going to be a success anyway.

There I was in the middle of the night climbing through air vents, camouflaging myself in any way possible, pouring red paint on the heads of the guards, and tranquilizing anyone who got in my way. When I finally got to where Nemesis was staying, I tripped on my own shoe, fell and made a loud thump sound.

"S.T.A.R.S.?" Nemesis asked when he saw me. And I thought he meant something like 'Who are you?' or 'what are you doing here?'

So I simply answered "I am Lyon! Awful name for a girl, I know. My parents had a bad sense of humor." I lied using my cover-up name "And I have come to rescue you from S.T.A.R.S." I then made a heroic pose and said "Come with me!" stretching out my black leather covered hand. Nemesis shook his head and followed me through the air vents, down walls, and leaving a scent as if someone had died everywhere. After all, Nemesis _is_ a zombie.

Everything seemed to be going well, suddenly the exits where blocked. Even the windows where sealed tight.

I turned to Nemesis and said "Let's fly this chicken coop." All Nemesis answered was "S.T.A.R.S." So I took that as a 'Just blow this place up already' or he could have said he wanted a refreshing lemonade, we _had_ been running for while and I don't exactly know the meaning of what 'S.T.A.R.S' is anyway. I took out my bazooka pointed it at the largest exit nearest to the ground. Before I was about to fire, I heard a loud ear-popping,

"Halt!" There was a guard with his arms and legs outstretched and yelled "I said stop, Mad'm!"

"Okay, okay, I didn't pull the trigger, now what do you want?" I snapped at the guard taking my eye away from the magnifying lens.

"Release Nemesis now!" he spoke clearly and annunciated every word.

"Fine, but riddle me this first…" I began.

"S.T.A.R.S," Nemesis agreed.

The guard rolled his eyes, "Fine I will!"

"Why was Nemesis in a lounge in plain sight of anyone who looked through that window, instead of a cell under ground?" I asked rapidly in my lets negotiate voice.

"Because Nemesis is awesome," the man said. "How do you expect me to put the most awesome villain—"

"S.T.A.R.S." Nemesis interrupted, looking proud.

"You're welcome, Nemesis," the guard said. "Anyway, how do you expect me to put the most awesome villain in all video game history in a cell?!"

"Well, you do have a point there. Nemesis _is_ quite awesome. Well, if he's so awesome, then why did you kill him a couple of years ago and decide to kidnap him now?"

"S.T.A.R.S."

"Will you pipe down, Nemesis; I'm trying to get us out of here alive!"

"S.T.A.R.S." Nemesis said looking slightly hurt.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Nemesis! I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject; did I hurt your feelings?"

"S.T.A.R.S." he said nodding

"I'm so sorry, Nemesis, if I ever do"

"Hey! I'm still here, you know! I want to answer your question!" the man yelled in an eager voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Please proceed, Mr. Eager Beaver" I said mocking him politely.

"S.T.A.R.S."

"Well, first of all, Nemesis was too awesome for anyone to have; that is why we killed him. And second of all, a zombie Nemesis is even more awesome than a live Nemesis, and he was so awesome that we just had to have _him_!"

"S.T.A.R.S."

"Well, I guess that solves that. We'll be on our way now." I said pulling the trigger. "Run, Nemesis, run!" I yelled at him when the door was blown open. We ran and we ran and we skipped, and we strolled, marched, and we frolicked, sauntered, hopped, jumped, and we ambled about until reaching our destination: The Forbidden Forest Hotel, complete with casino and water slides, though it has no pools.

* * *

I left Nemesis down in the lobby while I went up to my room and grabbed my luggage. When I came back to the lobby, people where running out of the room and cowering against the walls just at the mere sight of Nemesis. I think his feelings might have been hurt. Of course, he could have just thought that's how humans got around in their daily life.

It was very difficult to get a cab to the airport with Nemesis next to me. Instead of stopping, the cabs just drove faster and faster by us. We didn't get a ride until Nemesis convinced me to go to a rent-a-car and rent a car. When we got to the airport, we spent countless hours in security, trying to convince the police I was not smuggling anything into the country and that yes, Nemesis is a zombie, what do you want me to do about it. The security people just looked at me oddly and tried to reason why I would travel with an ugly dead thing and how it got the forest in the first place. We even got a special jet to take us straight to our headquarters; I guess the guards didn't want Nemesis scarring the people on the plane. When we got to head quarters, I had to depart from Nemesis' side.

My apartment was the same when I got back home except the red-caped swallow wouldn't leave. I wrote a full report on my mission not leaving out any of the events, and gave it to the sallow. The swallow finally flew away! It didn't even clean up after itself.

I did in fact get the reward for rescuing Nemesis and my life has gone back to normal, almost. Nemesis comes to visit me sometimes and after he leaves I wash every square inch on my apartment. No one likes an apartment smelling of zombie. And that was the greatest adventure of all!


End file.
